Why Isolation is Not So Good for You

12/1/2020

During this time we are all experiencing more isolation than we've ever had to experience in our lives.

Whether you're an 'essential worker', a stay-at-home mom, or live on your own, we are no longer having the freedom to connect like we used to do, and its effect on our mental health is real.

Read more below.

If you'd like to listen to this article, you can do so below:

I'm sure you've heard that being too isolated is not so good for you. But did you know that there's actual research that's been done on it, and even though you may be connected to a lot of people, you can still feel lonely and isolated?

In a research project done by the Harvard Business Review, they cited several studies which focused on the mental and physical effects of loneliness and isolation:

"Loneliness, whether it results from social isolation or exhaustion, has serious consequences for individuals. John Cacioppo, a leading expert on loneliness and coauthor of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, emphasizes its tremendous impact on psychological and physical health and longevity. Research by Sarah Pressman, of the University of California, Irvine, corroborates his work and demonstrates that while obesity reduces longevity by 20%, drinking by 30%, and smoking by 50%, loneliness reduces it by a whopping 70%. In fact, one study suggests that loneliness increases your chance of stroke or coronary heart disease — the leading cause of death in developed countries — by 30%. On the other hand, feelings of social connection can strengthen our immune system, lengthen our life, and lower rates of anxiety and depression."

Harvard Business Review full article is here

I'm speaking to you about this because as an energy sensitive, it has likely been your practice to distance yourself from too much exposure to crowds, or large gatherings, or even going out too much.

You may have a primary partner or not, or regularly interface with people or not. But all of that has changed now. We are being asked to stay home, not go to work or school in the normal way, and stay out of eating establishments until this pandemic starts to subside.

I know for myself, I love eating out! Having dinner out with people! It's my most favorite thing in the world! (Well, I do have a few favorite things in the world, but that is definitely one of them.)

But God never abandons you. We just have to be paying attention a little more accurately now.

There will always be people who you can reach out to, and who will be reaching out to you. These are not going to be your normal connections.

Sometimes you're called. Sometimes God puts you in a place where you have to turn within, find your true self, and then be there for someone else when they are seeking the answer that you just discovered.

Sometimes you're called. Sometimes God puts you in a place where you have to turn within, find your true self, and then be there for someone else when they are seeking the answer that you just discovered.

You're not wrong to feel lonely, or afraid, or just plain tired during these times.

But what I want to ask you is, has someone reached out to you lately, and you gave them the regular pat response?

"I'm really busy right now, but maybe on this day..."

"Can we do this later? I can't right now."

"How does this weekend look?" And then disappear.

These are not normal times, and they require different kinds of answers.

Try some of these:

"How are you?"

"What's going on with you these days?"

"How are you holding up lately?"

These are opening questions, and people may be accustomed to their own pat answers, like, "I'm fine". "Fine". "Good, how are you?" (another pat answer that can be deceiving.)

Consider going deeper. Consider being someone who just listens.

You do not have to solve problems, which is likely why you aren't going deeper in the first place: feeling the responsibility to solve another's problem.

People usually don't want you to solve their problems. They just need to connect. To be heard. To be truly listened to. Can you do that? (I promise you, it doesn't hurt, and in fact, it feels very good. All connection does.)

We need each other. And this is exactly what God has had in mind for us to learn.

The reason we're separate? To learn that separation doesn't work.

The separation we're in now because of the pandemic is simply exacerbating and putting a focus on, the separation we feel from God, and from each other.

We are supposed to be One.

We ARE all One. And our eyes are being opened to it.