How To Speak Up When You Need To

We are so accustomed to shutting down our thoughts and feelings, in order to avoid conflict.

But is that the only option?

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Have you ever really needed to speak up, or to respond when you feel something isn’t right, and yet you have chosen to remain silent because you don’t know how to say it?

A lot of times, if we’re being triggered emotionally, it can completely cloud our ability to think rationally, and every time we want to speak up about something, it comes out all wrong or garbled or not making any sense at all. Worse, it’s not really conveying our point at all!

The reason for this is that the emotional body is non-verbal. It is energy in motion, and it wants to move.

So before you respond to something, you want to tune in to those emotions and breathe into them before you can make any sense of what you want to say.

Forget about speaking at this point. What you really need is some time out, and the sooner you can get to the task of allowing those emotions to move - at whatever pace they want to go - the sooner you can find yourself at peace again.

This is what I like to encapsulate in a three-step process:

1) You’re triggered, and it’s emotional. Recognize that immediately, and don’t shut your emotions off or shove them down at this point. Just be aware of how you’re feeling.

2) Give these emotions time to express. For many of us, the emotions being triggered are related to some past occurrence, and whatever feelings you had then are still alive in you and unprocessed. If you’re in front of someone, do not lash out at them. You don’t want to be the one responsible for inflicting more pain on another simply because your ‘stuff’ is still active in you. Excuse yourself, tell them you’ll get back to them later, or simply walk away until you have time to process. Keep it civil.

3) After you have allowed these emotions to move, I would journal for a while about all that you feel. The reason for this is that when we journal, we are listening to our inner heart, where feelings lie, and allowing the expression in a verbal format. This is bringing the subconsciously held emotion into consciousness. The heart is where they meet. After thoroughly exploring all that you feel, you can now come to the place of forgiving the other because you see that what they did or said to you that caused the trigger, actually did you a favor! You got the opportunity to clear some old emotions - usually to do with some kind of “violation” you feel was against you.
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​You will find after you complete this process that a great deal of clarity will come to you about the situation you’re in. It may not be the best of situations, however, you’re in it for a reason, and usually, that reason can be to speak up.

Don’t allow things that are untrue to remain in that state. As long as your truth remains only inside of you, the opportunity to enlighten another becomes lost.

Do you really want to suppress an opportunity to share more light, more Truth, with the world?

I don’t think so. It’s part of the plan, and you have a place in that plan.

When you find the courage to speak up, and simply declare your truth without attacking anyone, you have just grown yourself, your self-confidence, and spread more light in the world.

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