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Are you in resistance?
Sometimes we are just so busy chasing our dreams and goals, running after what we need to get done, or keeping up with life's growth and advancements that we simply don't take the time to sit down and look within to see what we're holding inside.
This is why a meditation practice is always so important. I have one—I study a new lesson in A Course in Miracles daily.
But at times, there are other ways that messages are trying to reach us, to direct us to places that need love, attention, or healing. I'd been longing for my yoga mat for months! Having been without it during all my travels, today I got to sit down on my mat for the first time in what seems like forever.
Since the last time I sat on the mat, I have traveled extensively—I have relocated and changed beds at least 17 times; I've been to and seen incredible places: ancient churches; beautiful, cobble-stoned streets filled with shops and restaurants; and cafes and galleries. I've sat under breathtakingly beautiful stained glass windows and vaulted arches, and I've felt the holiness of all things. I've lugged suitcases up and down stairs, lost sleep several nights in a row, gained it back, eaten incredible food, and most importantly above all else, I've met the most wonderful people everywhere I went.
And my body has been my champion throughout. But now, here I am, back in California for a brief stay while I tie up some loose ends to prepare myself for a new life in Italy, and as soon as I sat on my mat and made an attempt to bend forward, all I felt was ouch. Tight muscles, sore feet and ankles, tight Achilles tendons, and an aching back.
A lot of people would murmur something to me about age, but I don't go there. I don't buy it. Our bodies are incredible machines, and given the right nutrition and care, they will go on for far longer than we give them credit for, especially if we're paying attention to emotional message from it as well! My regular daily routine of taking Young Living protein shakes and supplements got way off track, and I'm the one who stopped stretching, and well, there you go. These are the results.
Our bodies are also the holding ground for unacknowledged, subconscious emotions.
Do you know why we don't change any faster than we'd like to? Resistance.
Not sure if you have any resistance? Next time you're meditating, check in to your body. See where you feel tightness, constriction, or "balled-up" energy to know where to tune in to the message your body has for you.
As I sat on my mat, I simply closed my eyes and centered my consciousness the same way I do when I meditate. Immediately, I saw and felt so much jammed-up energy in my lower back, emanating from the root chakra.
Whoa! As I tuned in, yes, I saw all the physical strain involved in relocating, traveling with suitcases, and eating on the run with very little sleep. I stayed with the tightness and as soon as I did, the tightness was able to move and release. I saw the energy move and flow upward and outward from the base of the spine, exactly where all the tightness was being held.
Of course, this made sense. As an energy healer myself, I see into people's chakras and can tell what is going on from there. For myself, a jammed-up root chakra was simply a reaction to not having a stable home for so long. Week after week of relocations all over France and Italy were amazing and exciting and exactly what I wanted to do all summer. But then, as soon as I got to Assisi, it became time to stop, and that was for a reason.
What I also saw when looking more deeply into the energy, and after taking several deep breaths and tuning in, was an underlying film of harsh judgment against myself. Does that resonate with you in any way?
Harsh judgments against ourselves can build up subconsciously for anyone. Now, believe me, there wasn't much, and I hadn't seen or felt any of it consciously; it was all subconscious. That's why it was being held in the body!
Your body holds all the ideas you have against yourself that you don't want to consciously acknowledge. It's a mechanism of your subconscious mind so that your conscious mind can remain clear enough to operate throughout the day. But by not paying attention to your body's aches and pains as they arise, you are ignoring the things that need to heal inside of you. Until you accept and release these self-judgmental ideas, your body will continue to harbor them in the form of physical pain. Or any and all types of illness or disease.
A Course in Miracles' teaching about judgment tells us that it is an attack against the truth, and that judgment literally blocks miracles.
For my own process, subconsciously, I was holding remnants of an authoritative, patriarchal voice telling me that what I was doing in life was all wrong, that I should be more stable, and then the dreaded, "You can't do that!" 'That' meaning: living a life of freedom and joy the way that I want to do.
But here's the thing: a life of freedom and joy is what God wants for all of us. We are always at the behest of these inside voices telling us what we should and should not do. But what if we listened instead to the "Voice for God"—an idea from A Course in Miracles--which comes to us in the most familiar voice we know—our own?
It is always there, always ready and willing to guide us on our journey, every step of the way.
So, the first thing that I found so important to do was to accept where I am now.
Before any extraordinary change can occur, accepting where we are now is the most powerful act we can take. Always.
For example, in my own situation, being able to accept where I am now—in that I am traveling, between homes, and not carrying out a "stable, traditional life like my father would approve of"—allows me to feel happy and free to continue on my way! Which, by the way, includes moving into a new apartment, in Assisi, complete with a signed lease.
Accepting wherever you are now will allow you to release judgment against yourself (subconscious or conscious) and bring great joy and love for yourself and where you are now in your journey.
You are holy and perfect, innocent and free.
This is all God wants you to realize and to know.
So take some time, sit on your mat or whatever is your thing, and go within to release any and all ideas that are not in alignment with love.
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